Welcome to the Sweet Pea Project's Blog, part of the Sweet Pea Project's effort to create a supportive and compassionate community for those of us affected by the death of a child. Here you will find updates on the Sweet Pea Project, as well as anything going on in the world that relates to childloss. If you have a suggestion for a topic you would like to see discussed here, I'd love to hear it. Please make sure you stop by the official website, www.sweetpeaproject.org and feel free to email me for any reason at anytime at Stephanie@sweetpeaproject.org.
peace, Stephanie Cole (Madeline's Mom)

Saturday, March 10, 2012

Happy Birthday, Dakota Jones

Thirteen years ago, on March 11, a beautiful little boy was born. He did not cry. He did not wiggle in his mama's arms. He did not breathe. But still, he changed the world.
That little boy lit a spark inside of his mother during the nine months he spent nestled inside of her, and that spark was not extinguished when he died. That spark grew into a full fledged fire of motherly love and devotion and creativity and life and beauty and sadness and empathy and generosity and strength and light.
Kara has done so much since Dakota's death and birth (in that terrible, twisted order) and has been an inspiration to so many. Her artwork, poetry, books and workshops are such gifts to our community.  She is the one who enlightened me to the true origins of Mother's Day and her idea of using art to "look askew and try to get a handle on our experience when looking straight on is too much" really hits home for me.  Her book of poetry, Flash of Life, is one of the books that I have returned to time and time again in the five years since my Madeline's death and it was an incredible honor for me when Kara agreed to write the foreword for my own book.  Though I hate the sadness we have in common and I wish we had met under different circumstances, I am so grateful to know her, and to know Kota through her.
If you haven't had a chance to check out all the amazing things Kara LC Jones and her husband, Hawk Jones, have created as they continue to parent Dakota, please take a few minutes to check out some of their work at www.motherhenna.com.
And happy thirteenth birthday, Kota.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012


Please take a moment to read the message below from Dr. Joanne Cacciatore, and visit her blog.  This is an important read on a topic that will inevitably touch every single one of us. As always, Dr Joanne Cacciatore articulates it perfectly. "We can never derive what we need during suffering from a pill or a bottle. What we desperately need in our world is a willing witness to our suffering, someone who will join us with full presence and mindfulness."

"A dangerous change for future bereaved parents is impending. The DSM V has proposed a reduction to two weeks following any death (there is no exclusion for child death) before grief can be classified as depression. Please read this important blog and call to action and please read this blog and then SHARE far and wide to your networks: http://drjoanne.blogspot.com/2012/03/relativity-applies-to-physics-not.html~Joanne Cacciatore

The pressure from her blog is resulting in some public attention, helping to bring the cause of bereaved parents into public purview, and helping our voices to be heard.  Please read her blog post and spread the word.  Thank you.