Sweet Pea Sisters & Brothers Picnic

We are excited to announce a new community event, and you are invited!

Please visit the event page at www.sweetpeaproject.org/picnic for details.

Hope to see you there!

You Are Invited!

Sweet Pea Project is excited to announce our first community event of 2011

Coffee & Conversation with
Dr. Joanne Cacciatore!

Sweet Pea Project would like to invite bereaved family members to join us in the Mulberry Ballroom at Mulberry Art Studios on Wednesday, April 6th from 6:30pm until 8pm to enjoy coffee and desserts prepared by the Master Chefs of Rettew's Catering and hear the MISS Foundation's Dr. Joanne Cacciatore speak about grieving mindfully.

Seating is limited and registration is required. Please email Stephanie@sweetpeaproject.org to reserve your spot. Registration begins on February 3rd and will end on March 25, as long as seats are available. There is no charge to attend this event. As always, donations are greatly appreciated so that we may continue to offer comfort, support and gentle guidance to families who have experienced the death of a child.

To learn more about Dr. Joanne Cacciatore and her inspiring work,
please visit the following websites:

MISS Foundation
Center For Loss & Trauma

Please contact me with any questions you may have. I hope to see you in April!

peace,
Stephanie Cole

You remembered her birthday

As you probably remember, I recently asked for small donations from family, friends and the community in honor of my daughter's birthday earlier this month. I was completely overwhelmed by the response. Donations flooded in, many from people I've never even met, and we are now in a position to greatly expand our book donation program. If you would like to see Still. added to the bereavement boxes offered at your local hospital at no cost, please contact me for details.

To everyone who made a donation in honor of Madeline's 4th birthday, thank you. You filled a difficult day with so much love and light. I am beyond grateful.

Sincerely,
Stephanie

January

the coldness creeps in

and my body remembers
winter is so hard

In an effort to make it through January, the most emotionally complicated month of the year for me, I have decided to carve out space in my life for honest contemplation and creation. I will write or make art each day. I'm hoping this will allow me to work through the still raw emotions of Madeline's death and birth in a way that leaves open the opportunity for me to experience beauty, discover truth and find balance.

Catherine, from The Lifespan of Butterflies, did this same thing through her Imago Project leading up to her daughter's birthday in October. I participated with her in October and this month she is joining me. If this inspires you to write or make art at all this month, I would be honored to include your work in the Community Gallery at Beauty In The Breakdown. I will be placing many of my own pieces (maybe even all of them, depending on how brave I am feeling) in the Main Gallery, so please stop by and check them out.

Yesterday I created my first piece of the month out of black polymer clay and finished it with a metallic green powder. A peapod for my Sweet Pea.

Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope

Today Madeline and my story was posted on Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope as their Story of Hope for this week. I think the timing is just beautiful. I had interviewed with them in early November not knowing if or when the story would be used, and here it is one week before Madeline's birthday (my most difficult week of the year) and our story is selected and published. So perfect. Thanks to everyone over at Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope for all that they do. Here is the article:

Stephanie Paige
Sweet Pea Project

Mother to Madeline Jonna, born January 5, 2007

My firstborn child, my beautiful daughter Madeline, was stillborn at 41 weeks on January 5, 2007. A cause of death was never determined.

I have founded a nonprofit organization, Sweet Pea Project, which offers comfort, support and gentle guidance to families who have experienced the death of a baby before, during or shortly after birth. I have also written a book, Still: a collection of honest artwork & poetry from the heart of a grieving mother, and I am the artist behind the Beauty In The Breakdown community art project. Working on these projects has helped me immeasurably. Writing the book and creating artwork gave me a way to express all the unspeakable emotions that were coursing through my veins after Madeline's death. And the Sweet Pea Project allows me to continue parenting Madeline by mothering her memory.

Above all, reaching out to others parents brings me peace because I know just how lost and lonely one feels after suffering through such a profound loss. After Madeline was born she was wrapped in a standard issue hospital blanket and handed to me. I cradled her in my arms for hours in that blanket before kissing her cheek one last time and saying goodbye. It was one of the few things in this world that touched her, and I wish so badly that someone would have thought to send that blanket home with me. The Sweet Pea Project began as a blanket collection program in the hope that we could keep other mothers from experiencing that same regret.

Everything I'm doing is something I never thought would be possible! I've created a nonprofit organization out of nothing, had a book published, collected well over a thousand blankets. I never would have dreamed I could do any of this, and I know the only reason any of it has been possible is because of the strength that Madeline left me. Everything that I accomplish is because of her.

Last month the Sweet Pea Project held our 1st Annual Balloon Release on October 15th. A few weeks before the event I received an email from a woman who read about it in the newspaper. She said she was looking forward to coming to the balloon release, that her son had been stillborn and she had never participated in anything in his honor before. He would have turned 46 this year. We emailed back and forth and she thanked me for the opportunity to get some of the grief off her chest. I cannot imagine how heavy and suffocating it must have been to have lost a baby years ago, when society forced you to bare the weight of it all in silence. I was honored to celebrate her son's short but precious life alongside her at the balloon release. I am grateful that I have been able to speak honestly about my experience and I am humbled by the opportunity I have been given to encourage other mothers to speak out as well.

There are so many beautiful mothers out there working to make this world a more gentle place for bereaved families, and they are all constant sources of strength and inspiration. When I was drowning in the ocean of my loss, it was other mothers like Kara LC Jone, Joanne Cacciatore and Sherokee Isle who reached out and pulled me aboard their little lifeboat. I am honored to now be in the position to bring others on board.

http://www.facesofloss.com/search/label/Story%20of%20Hope

Sweet Pea Babies Christmas Tribute

Christmas can be a very difficult time of year for those of us who do not have all of our children in our arms. The joyful bustle of the outside world can be overwhelming and isolating, and it can sometimes seem as though you are the only one who remembers that a deeply loved little person is missing from the family gatherings. We want you to know that your child is being remembered, this holiday season and always, by all of us at the Sweet Pea Project.

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Sweet-Pea-Project/137341992964455

This video includes all of the children from the Sweet Pea Babies list as of December 21, 2010. If your little one was included and you would like to download a JPG of your child's name,
please email Stephanie@sweetpeaproject.org

Grief & Arts Workshop

I am so excited to announce that I will be participating in a Grief & Arts Workshop for bereaved parents next month, along with several other highly respected artists and authors. I hope you will be able to join us as we explore our experiences through writing and art-making. No prior art or writing experience is necessary at all. Please feel free to contact me for details. More info below.


Grief and Arts Workshop

Description: Join authors and artists Janel Atlas, Nina Bennett, Angie Yingst, and Stephanie Paige Cole for an afternoon of making and sharing art, both visual and literary. All who have been impacted by the death of a baby at anytime during a pregnancy or infancy are welcome. Participants will choose among several guided workshop sessions and get to take their creations home. The workshop will be held at the Newark Arts Alliance, 276 East Main Street, Newark, Saturday, January 22, 2011 from 3-6 p.m.

Pre-register by January 12 and pay just $12, or pay $15 at the door; tickets cover materials and light refreshments. To register, e-mail Janelatlas@gmail.com or call 302.737.6088.

A Birthday Request

It was December 3rd, 2008. Christmas was fast approaching and although I was excited to experience the wonder of the holiday through the eyes of my 11 month old son, my heart was still so heavy. I missed Madeline terribly and felt a little overwhelmed with Christmas and her birthday just around the corner. I decided to do something in her honor to help me get through the difficult winter. So I sent out an email to family and friends asking them to buy a special baby blanket for me to donate to the hospital where Madeline was born. Her 2nd birthday was one month away, and I hoped I could collect forty blankets (one year's supply) by then. Within two weeks I had 100 blankets piled up on my dining room table- and that was before the newspaper article was published. By Madeline's birthday I had collected enough blankets to supply five local hospitals with a year's supply. That was two years ago, and since then Sweet Pea Project has grown more than I could have ever imagined. Blankets arrive constantly, as of today we've donated 1,319 to hospitals all across the country.

I cannot even begin to put into words how that makes me feel. Grateful doesn't even being to cover it. The kindness, generosity and compassion that I have encountered since beginning this project has been absolutely incredible. Watching beauty grow from the ultimate devastation is beyond inspiring. It is what keeps me afloat during difficult days. And speaking of difficult days, it is winter again. Two weeks until Christmas. Less than four weeks until Madeline's birthday. January 5th. She would be four this year. Sometimes when I think about that, it gets kind of hard to breathe.

Two years ago I wanted to donate blankets in honor of Madeline's birthday. Sweet Pea Project is now well stocked with blankets, so this year I want to donate books. So, just as I did in December of 2008, I am sending out an email to family and friends requesting a small birthday present for my daughter. Five dollars is all it takes to donate a book to a newly bereaved mom. I know money is tight this year, and everyone has their own long wish list, but if you find that you have an extra five dollars when you are done with your holiday shopping and you would like to donate it to the Sweet Pea Project for Madeline's 4th Birthday, I would be humbled, honored and so very, very grateful.

Thank you.

Sincerely,
Stephanie Cole

For information on how to make a donation
please visit www.sweetpeaproject.org/donate

Six Months is Not a Miscarriage

As you may have already heard, British recording artist Lily Allen's unborn son died earlier this week. She was six months along. I was heartbroken for her and her partner Sam Cooper, as I am heartbroken for every parent who has outlived their child. My heartbreak was joined by frustration when countless news outlets began covering this tragic story using the inaccurate term "miscarriage" to describe the death of Allen and Cooper's little boy.

Thankfully, I belong to a community of intelligent and passionate parents who are always willing to stand up for one another. One of those parents is Sweet Pea Project's own Beth Gauthier, who has herself experienced the devastating loss of a child through both a miscarriage and a stillbirth. Beth penned the following letter to the Associated Press.


Associated Press,

It is sadness mixed with anger that has compelled me to contact you. You published a story, which was then run by too many other sources to count, that Singer Lily Allen suffered a miscarriage. I am outraged that such a highly respected news source could not be bothered to use proper terminology. In failing to do so, the Associated Press not only misrepresented the terrible tragedy that Lily Allen and Sam Cooper have endured, but most likely have added to their suffering. According to the American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (as well as most other reputable medical resources) a miscarriage is the unintended loss of a pregnancy prior to 20 weeks gestation. This is not what happened to Allen and Cooper.

Armed with only the basic information that she reported to the hospital with cramping and then spent the weekend there trying to save their son, I can tell you that what happened to Allen and Cooper was either a stillbirth or premature delivery. A stillbirth involves a baby over 20 weeks gestation who dies in utero. The mother then labors and delivers her child. These children are swaddled and held, photographed and cried over. If their son was born alive and died shortly after, the misuse of the term miscarriage is even more reprehensible. I think that it is your duty to write some sort of retraction or addition to your original piece that validates the existence of their son and their struggle to save his life, and differentiates it from the very tragic but completely different experience of losing a child to miscarriage.

--
Beth Gauthier
Treasurer
Sweet Pea Project
PO Box 10351
Lancaster, PA 17605
sweetpeaproject.org
Beth@sweetpeaproject.org

To Lily Allen and Sam Cooper,
we extend our deepest sympathy
after the death of your much loved
and hoped for little boy.

Balloon Release video

Last week at this time we gathered together to remember and celebrate our children as a community. Since then, I've been hard at work creating a video out of the hundreds and hundreds of beautiful images our photographer captured for us. I'm excited to announce that the video is finally complete. Follow the link below to experience the evening with us again:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZMFhIfn7IgA


To everyone who participated, thank you. It was an honor.
peace,
Stephanie