Still a Mother

I just wanted to take a moment to reach out to you on a weekend that can feel so complicated for all of us who hold our children in our hearts instead of our arms.  For many of us, Mother's Day is bittersweet.  For some it is just bitter.  That's ok, we've all been there.  If you are there, I hope that some sweetness finds its way to your heart soon.  Remember that you are still a mother.  That title is irreversible and that love does not disappear. 

 

I am honored to be able to share a new poem with you today.  It is my favorite piece I have written, because Madeline is still alive during most of the poem.  It speaks to the full truth of motherhood, and I hope it speaks to your heart as well.  The poem, entitled "The Ballad of the Firstborn", was published today over at Still Standing Magazine, and includes a video of me reading the poem at Mulberry Art Studios.  Please take a moment to read it and please feel free to share it forward, it would mean so much to me.  You can find it at http://stillstandingmag.com/2014/05/ballad-first-born/ or on Still Standing Magazine's facebook page.

 

As we do each year, we are holding our "Still a Mother" giveaway from now until midnight on Mother's Day, May 11.  This year we are giving away 5 copies of Still and 1 copy of to linger on hot coals.  6 winners will be randomly selected and announced on Monday, May 12.  To enter, please email the words "STILL A MOTHER" to Stephanie@sweetpeaproject.org.  Be sure to include your name, your child's name (or nickname) and your mailing address in case you win.  One entry per person, please.  The flier is posted below, please feel free to share it.

Last year I wrote a piece for our blog about the origins of Mother's Day and I would like to re-share with you in case you are new to our community.  You can read that here: http://sweetpeaproject.blogspot.com/2013/05/mothers-day-erma-bombeck.html 

 

I would also like to invite you spend a little time wandering through The Secret Garden at Sweet Pea Project where you will find beautiful flowers and quotes that we hope may speak to your heart.  You can find the garden at www.sweetpeaproject.org/secretgarden as well as on Sweet Pea Project's facebook page.

 

I hope tomorrow is a gentle on your heart.

 

Much love,

Stephanie Paige Cole

 

 

Sweet Pea Sisters & Brothers Picnic Reminder

 

Over 350 guests have already signed up for Sweet Pea Project's 4th Annual Sweet Pea Sisters & Brothers Picnic- happening at Lititz Springs Park on Saturday, June 7th from 4pm until 7pm- but there is still room for you and your family! If you plan to join us at the picnic, please reserve your family's spot today back clicking on REGISTRATION FORM on our picnic page, www.sweetpeaproject.org/picnic.  Registration closes on Wednesday, April 30th.  If you are ordering picnic shirts, please be sure you have done so by Wednesday.  Donations to cover additional shirts can be sent to us via paypal (using Stephanie@sweetpeaproject.org as the recipient, with a notation that mentions "picnic shirts" and your name) or by check.  Our mailing address is Sweet Pea Project - PO Box 10351 - Lancaster, PA 17605.

 

Stephanie was recently interviewed on Good Day PA about the picnic.  If you didn't catch the live broadcast, you can watch the segment online by following this link: http://www.abc27.com/video?clipId=10051648&autostart=true

 

We hope to see you at the park in June!  We'll be serving up a delicious picnic dinner from Rettew's Catering, and there will be lots of dessert, entertainment and family fun activities.  Rita's Italian ice will be handing out free ice, Dancing Bears Music will be performing on the bandshell stage, Ronice Kay Photography will be doing free family portraits, Bob's Critters will be doing live animal demonstrations, Acts of Jennius will be leading kids in some hula-hooping fun with her Spinspiration Hoop Troupe, Country Conjuring will be performing magic tricks and Tony the Balunguy will be making balloon animals.  We'll be offering various arts and crafts projects, face-painting, a bounce house, and children will be able to plant flowers from Shenk's Greenhouse.  Grace Photos will be on hand to capture images of the festivities, all of which will be available to our guests after the event.  And our list of free prizes is the best it has ever been!  We'll continue to announce activities as the event date approaches, so be sure to check out www.sweetpeaproject.org/picnic for more!

 

Questions?  Please feel free to email Beth@sweetpeaproject.org or Stephanie@sweetpeaproject.org at any time.  Hope to see you soon!

Sweet Pea Project's 4th Annual Sweet Pea Sisters & Brothers Picnic

 

There is no greater pain for a parent than the pain of outliving their child.  But we parents are not the only ones who suffer.  The death of a baby can be very difficult on our surviving children, and even our subsequent children. These kids witness their parents wrestling with overwhelming grief, and struggle with their own feelings of sadness and confusion. They deserve a day just to be carefree children, playing with their parents in the sunshine and having fun, and that is what our annual picnic is all about.
 

Sweet Pea Project will hold this special event for children who have lost a brother or sister during pregnancy or infancy on Saturday, June 7th, 2014.  Parents are invited to bring their surviving and subsequent children to Lititz Springs Park in Lititz, PA, from 4pm-7pm to play, eat, and enjoy each other's company.  This event is free but registration is required.  To register, go to www.sweetpeaproject.org/picnic and click on Picnic Registration Form! Registration will close on April 30.

Just as we did in years past, we will be offering tons of food and family fun activities.  Rita's Italian ice will be handing out free ice, Dancing Bears Music will be performing on the bandshell stage, Ronice Kay Photography will be doing free family portraits, Bob's Critters will be doing live animal demonstrations, Acts of Jennius will be leading kids in some hula-hooping fun, Country Conjuring will be performing magic tricks and Tony the Balunguy will be making balloon animals.  We'll be offering various arts and crafts projects, face-painting, a bounce house, and children will be able to plant flowers from Shenk's Greenhouse.  We'll be serving a picnic dinner and dessert, so bring your appetites!  Grace Photos will be on hand to capture images of the festivities, all of which will be available to our guests after the event.  We'll continue to announce activities as the event date approaches, so be sure to check out www.sweetpeaproject.org/picnic for more!

The idea for the Sweet Pea Sisters & Brothers Picnic came about after Beth Gauthier and Nicole Jackson joined the board of directors in 2010. Both had older children who grieved along side of them when their sons were stillborn and each have had another baby since then. Though support groups exist for parents, very little is offered for children. Sweet Pea Project is excited to be able to reach out to these children through this annual picnic, in honor of Mark and Max.

5k, poetry photos & more!

 

We are so excited to announce the first ever 5k to benefit Sweet Pea Project!  Kat's 5k Family Run/Walk Presented by Friends of Angels will be held in Strasburg, PA on Saturday, May 10, 2014.  It will be a fun-filled morning to remember our little ones and raise awareness and funds for Sweet Pea Project.  There will be children's activities, music, food, and awards for top race finishers!  See the flier above for more details and registration info.  Please consider drumming up support in honor of your little one by creating a team and running/walking with friends/family.  You can also collect donations from non-participants and send them directly to Sweet Pea Project, and your child's name will be added to a big sign on race day.  Sweet Pea Project will even give a prize to the team that raises the most funds!  Donations should be made payable to Sweet Pea Project, with a notation on the check or in the paypal notes field that says "5k" and the name of the child.  All donations are tax deductible.  I'll be out there running (ok, walking) for Team Madeline, and I would love to see a ton of you there!  If you are unable to participate, but would like your child's name included on the sign, please email Chris@friendofangels.org- no donation necessary.  *Please Note: Every runner/walker MUST fill out their own individual registration form in order to participate in the 5k.  Register today at https://www.pretzelcitysports.com/onlineform1.php?id=467.

 

Also exciting- I was recently interviewed on live TV in the Author Spotlight Segment of Good Day PA.  During the interview we talked about Sweet Pea Project, my books, and, most importantly, my daughter.  You can catch the segment online at http://www.abc27.com/story/24808569/author-spotlight-to-linger-on-hot-coals, and be sure to tune in on April 14th when I return to the studio to discuss the needs of children who have lost a sibling and the ways in which Sweet Pea Project reaches out to those kids.

 

I also want to thank everyone who came out to celebrate the release of my new book, to linger on hot coals (www.tolingeronhotcoals.com), with me at our poetry gathering a few weeks ago.  It was a beautiful afternoon, made even more sacred by the 162 candles that lit the space with love. A video of the candles is now up on youtube at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2OvCTfD8Qs0, if you'd like to check it out. Individual candle images and candids of the poets and the event can be found on the facebook pages for Sweet Pea Project & to linger on hot coals.  We are so grateful to Loving Memories Photography for donating these beautiful images. If you had a candle lit for your little one and would like to download your free high resolution jpg or order prints/enlargements of the candle image, please email me for details at Stephanie@sweetpeaproject.org.

 

Lastly, for those of you who have surviving or subsequent children who would like to participate in a fun event to remember their brother/sister, please mark your calendar for the 4th Annual Sweet Pea Sisters & Brothers Picnic on Saturday, June 7th, 2014.  Registration forms and event details will be coming out soon!

 

Hope you are all having a gentle afternoon.

Still Standing Magazine, People & Perspective, & More!

We are excited to share with you that an essay about E.E. Cummings and the cells of our sweet babies, written by Sweet Pea Project's own Stephanie Paige Cole, was published today in Still Standing Magazine.  You can click here to read the essay: http://stillstandingmag.com/2014/02/changed/ and please feel free to hop over to the magazine's facebook page to share your thoughts on the piece.

This is also a very exciting week for us over here at Sweet Pea Project.  Stephanie and Catherine Bayly, the editors of to linger on hot coals, were on the People & Perspectives radio show this morning for a 20 minute long interview on the book, Sweet Pea Project, and the ways in which we continue to parent our children.  The segment was broadcasted on 4 stations, but if you missed it you can listen now at http://chirb.it/9I8tDp.  Stephanie will also be interviewed on live TV on Good Day PA tomorrow!  We'll be posting a link to that interview on the In The News  page on our website, so check back soon for that.

And last, we want to remind you that it is now just 2 weeks until Sweet Pea Project's Poetic Gathering, presented by OBGYN of Lancaster, at Mulberry Art Studios on March 8.  Food For Thought Catering will be putting together a delicious spread of food, and we want to be sure we have enough for everyone, so please click on the link at www.sweetpeaproject.org/poetrywww.sweetpeaproject.org/poetry and let us know if you plan to attend this beautiful, free event.

We hope you are all having a peaceful weekend.

to linger on hot coals poetic gathering

Hi friends! We are so excited about our next community event- Sweet Pea Project's to linger on hot coals poetic gathering presented by OBGYN of Lancaster. We are just 3 weeks away from this lovely little gathering and want to make sure we have enough books and refreshments, so please click over to https://hotcoalspoetry.wufoo.com/forms/to-linger-on-hot-coals-poetic-gathering/ and let us know if you plan to attend. 

We hope you will join us at 1pm on Saturday, March 8 at the beautiful Mulberry Art Studios in downtown Lancaster for an afternoon of poetry, music, and community in a candle-lit art gallery. From 1pm-2pm you can mingle and relax with a glass of wine and a plate of delicious hors d'oeuvres served by Food For Thought Catering, while listening to the gently strummed guitar of singer/songwriter Bobbi Carmitchell.  156 candles, each with the name of a deeply loved and missed child handwritten on it, will be lighting the gallery.  Copies of to linger on hot coals will be available, and several of the contributors will be signing books and chatting with guests.

At 2pm, Dr Joanne Cacciatore- founder of the MISS Foundation and Center For Loss & Trauma- will open with a short presentation via video about her involvement in to linger on hot coals. The poetry reading will immediately follow and will include pieces from each of the to linger on hot coals contributors. Angie Yingst, Devany LeDrew, Catherine Bayly and Stephanie Paige Cole will read live in the gallery and, since they live much too far away to attend in person, Kara LC Jones, Sherokee Ilse, Laura Seftel, Carly Dudley, Tara Hart, Beth Morey, Amy McCarter, Hannah Logan Morris and Anne Morris will share their poems with us via video projected on the gallery wall.

Learn more about to linger on hot coals, which was released a few weeks ago and is already receiving some amazing reviews from high profile members of our community, at www.tolingeronhotcoals.com.

Thank you to our event sponsors: OBGYN of Lancaster, Food For Thought Catering, Mulberry Art Studios, Loving Memories Photography & Continental Inn!

(PS... Think warm thoughts and save the date for our next community event: 4th Annual Sweet Pea Sisters & Brothers Picnic at Lititz Springs Park on June 7!)

New book available now!

I am beyond excited to announce to you that my second book, to linger on hot coals: collected poetic works from grieving women writers, was released on January 24th and is now available for purchase!  It will be released as an eBook in the near future, and is currently available as a paperback on Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble.  Here are more details about the book, and I will paste the links in at the bottom of this email for those of you who may be interested in checking it out.  Thank you so much for your support of my work.

Poets explore the lasting effects of grief in new anthology released January 2014

“Most of the time, we consider grief ugly, and most of the time it is.  But, sometimes you find something that moves that kind of loss beyond horror to something clear and pristinely honest— beautiful… Stephanie Paige Cole and Catherine Bayly have collected a deeply beautiful gift of poetry in to linger on hot coals.”  -Melissa Miles McCarter, Editor of Joy, Interrupted

to linger on hot coals was born from the imaginations and lives of two mothers.  Artist-writer, Stephanie Paige Cole, and poet-teacher, Catherine Bayly, crafted their brain child in memory of their first daughters, Madeline and Sophie.  Both girls were stillborn at full term, and the experience of mothering their memories became paramount in the writing and daily lives of their mothers.  As the years passed, the need to mother them has changed, but the desire to keep them at the center of Cole and Bayly’s work has remained.

This book represents a multitude of women’s voices, at various stages of grief-mothering.  Within the pages you’ll find raw cerebral iterations of the infinite ripple effects of grief and the raw visceral howls of grief’s earliest days.  Cole and Bayly hope the book will take part in an ongoing complex conversation about motherhood and work—and that it will speak to the hearts and minds of those mothers who’ve lost.

to linger on hot coals features a powerful foreword by MISS founder, Dr. Joanne Cacciatore, and poetry from Cole and Bayly along with Kara LC Jones, Angie Yingst, Sherokee Ilse, Laura Seftel, Carly Dudley, Tara Hart, Beth Morey, Amy McCarter, Hannah Logan Morris, Devany LeDrew and Anne Morris.

More information about this book can be found online at www.tolingeronhotcoals.com.

Order your copy today on Amazon or Barnes & Noble

And I hope you will all join us on Saturday, March 8 at 1pm for a free community gathering to celebrate the release of this sweet and sacred little book.  Details about Sweet Pea Project's to linger on hot coals poetic gathering can be found at www.sweetpeaproject.org/poetry.

Again, thank you for all your support as we work together to create a more compassionate community for the families left behind after the death of a beloved child.

Sweet Pea Project Presents to linger on hot coals poetic gathering

Sweet Pea Project is hosting a poetic gathering on March 8, 2014 at the beautiful Mulberry Art Studios in downtown Lancaster, PA, to celebrate the release of Stephanie Paige Cole & Catherine Bayly's new book, to linger on hot coals: collected poetic works from grieving women writers. The book features a foreword from Dr Joanne Cacciatore and poetry from Stephanie and Catherine along with Kara LC Jones, Angie Yingst, Sherokee Ilse, Laura Seftel, Carly Dudley, Tara Hart, Beth Morey, Amy McCarter, Hannah Logan Morris, Devany LeDrew and Anne Morris.  To learn more about this book, please visit www.tolingeronhotcoals.com.

Doors open at 1:00.  Guests will have time to mingle, enjoy some light food and wine, leaf through copies of to linger on hot coals and wander through the space to view the candles lining the gallery's windowsills and ledges, each one with the name of a deeply loved and missed child handwritten on it.

At 2:00, Dr Joanne Cacciatore- founder of the MISS Foundation and Center For Loss & Trauma- will open with a short presentation via video about her involvement in to linger on hot coals, and the importance of expressing the full spectrum of emotions that accompany the death of a child.  The poetry reading will immediately follow and will include pieces from each of the to linger on hot coals contributors.  Angie Yingst, Devany LeDrew, Catherine Bayly and Stephanie Paige Cole will read live in the gallery and, since they live much too far away to attend in person, Kara LC Jones, Sherokee Ilse, Laura Seftel, Carly Dudley, Tara Hart, Beth Morey, Amy McCarter, Hannah Logan Morris and Anne Morris will share their poems with us via video projected on the gallery wall.

Stephanie, Catherine, Angie and Devany will be available to chat and sign books after the poetry reading has concluded.  Books will be available for purchase, with a portion of the proceeds benefitting Sweet Pea Project.

Registration is not required for this free community event, but we want to make sure we have plenty of refreshments so please, if you plan to attend, let us know by clicking the link to sign up at www.sweetpeaproject.org/poetry.

There is still time to have a candle added in honor of your little one, please read the blog post that follows this one for details.

Thank you to our event sponsors
Sweet Pea Project
Mulberry Art Studios
Loving Memories Photography
Continental Inn
Food For Thought Catering

Lit with Love at poetic gathering

Have a candle lit for your child at Sweet Pea Project's to linger on hot coals poetic gathering this March.

As you may have heard, Sweet Pea Project founder Stephanie Paige Cole and poet/professor Catherine Bayly have teamed up to create a book of poetry entitled to linger on hot coals.  The collection contains pieces from some of the the most beautiful and powerful voices of our community, and we are so excited for its release in just a few weeks.  You can visit www.tolingeronhotcoals.com or the facebook page for details, reviews and updates. https://www.facebook.com/hotcoalspoetry?ref=hl  We'll be sharing more about it soon.

To celebrate this lovely little book, Sweet Pea Project will be hosting a poetic gathering and community reception at Mulberry Art Studios on March 8.  As we have done in the past (at Beauty in the Breakdown and Five) we plan to fill the gallery space with candles, each bearing the name of a beloved baby, so that the room is filled with their light, lit by our love for them.

For those of us who have suffered through the death of a baby, the glowing light of the candles will be a reminder of their short but precious lives and a tribute to our love for them.  And it will surely move those who have not experienced such a loss to walk into a room and see how our love still burns for our unseen children.

During the month of January, anyone who makes a donation in any amount to Sweet Pea Project will have a candle placed in the gallery in honor of their child.  This includes donations made for the Winter Book Drive.  Contributions may be sent by check to the address at the bottom of this post, or be made securely online with a credit card or paypal account at www.sweetpeaproject.org/donate/paypal.  Please be sure to include your child's name when you submit your donation.

Please feel free to contact me at  Stephanie@sweetpeaproject.org with any questions at all.  Thank you for your support of Sweet Pea Project, and for the honor of including your beautiful child in this exhibit.

Sweet Pea Project
PO Box 10351
Lancaster, PA 17605-0351

Sweet Pea Project is a 501(c)3 nonprofit organization.  All donations are tax deductible.

Sweet Pea Project Turns Five Years Old

In early December 2008, I sat down at the computer late one night and typed up an email to my friends and family.  It started with, "Christmas is just a few weeks away and we are so excited to see it through Ben’s eyes this year.  Still, we continue to struggle with sadness because his big sister will not be here to share it with us.  She would be two years old next month, and we miss her very much."  I went on to invite everyone to donate a receiving blanket in Madeline's memory so that I could bring them to the hospital on her second birthday, in the hope that I could offer some small comfort to the next mother to deliver a stillborn child there.  Within a couple of weeks I had been in the newspaper, had created a website, named my little effort the Sweet Pea Project and collected hundreds of blankets.  On January 5th, 2008 (her 2nd birthday) I delivered the first box of blankets to the hospital where she was born.  Now, 5 years later, we have donated over 6,000 blankets and 3,200 copies of Still. to 230 hospitals and bereavement organizations in all 50 states of the US and several other countries including Australia, Ireland and Canada.  We've hosted a dozen free community events and our Sweet Pea Babies page honors more than one thousand beloved children.  We've stood up and spoken out at every opportunity in an effort to break the silence and remove the stigma surrounding stillbirth and infant death.  We do all this knowing that none of it will ever take away the pain of their deaths, but with hope that together we can create a more compassionate community for the broken families these precious children leave behind.  Thank you to everyone who has helped us as we build this community, blanket by blanket, book by book, broken heart by broken heart, and thank you for allowing me the honor of being a small part of your child's remembrance.  These past five years with Sweet Pea Project have been one of the most beautiful experiences of my life, and I cannot wait to see what the next five years will bring.